The following post coming three weeks into my project could get you a lil worried about my state of mind in my incumbent company. To soothe the fears of my well-wishers let me at the very outset say that the following post bears no resemblance to any real life situation I am facing now. Any inference to such resemblance hence is purely coincidental.
I have tended to believe that for a job to be well done or for a relationship to prosper there is a spark that needs to be present. A job could pay you the best in the country but if that spark is absent it’s just another job. It could very well have been the filling of the petrol tanks of ongoing vehicles at a gas station at the same level of wages.
You could be out with Salma Hayek on a moonlit night but if her speech and manner makes you yawn you could very well have been out with a hag on the same moonlit night.
Not all of us are lucky enough to get a job with that spark and it’s not too unnatural for us to crib about it. Employee turnover (or attrition for the need to stay in vogue with the latest HR nomenclatures) is a reality every organization faces. And this is because of this spark that some people do not derive from their jobs. They get bored, fed up, disappointed, irritated and look for greener pastures elsewhere.
But if one does have that spark factor in his/her job it is unlikely that he/she will ever leave that job. Nothing else could explain M.F.Hussain still painting his canvasses, Dev Anand still directing movies and R.K. Laxman still drawing caricatures. Or Brian Johnston holding his mike for 48 years, or Sean Connery still acting or Madonna still singing.
Why even, Mr. Buffet still investing, Mr. Gates still thinking and Ms Paris Hilton still laundering. Okie, pardon the last one.
I have also tended to believe that whatever life offers you, there is atleast one soul who’s got a better deal and atleast one soul who’s got a worse deal than you in this world. So if you think you have got one helluva boring job, I thought it would be nice to know what could be the most boring jobs in India and presented below is my list in no particular order.
The Coast Guard: It’s in everyone’s best interests that he does not come into action. He spends his time gazing on the beach and watching hordes of travelers come and go by. Usually he has an umbrella to himself and every once in a while a kid waves him a Hi. I once observed him at one of the beaches in Trivandrum; he dint have a thing to do for the three hours we spent there.
The guy distributing pamphlets on the roads: This chap is handed a bunch of catalogues or pamphlets early morning by his employer for a day and he keeps handing it over to people walking by. Most people don’t even look him in the eye, worse - some do and take a copy and throw it on the road without a peek.
Mechanics who fill tires: I bet it should be interesting should he overfill any of those tires with loud consequences but these chaps are too efficient for that. It’s amazing how he never ever makes that mistake; another of those unnoticed operations that run at greater than Six Sigma. (Why dont we study them as a case study but will sure take notice should Prince Harry come and extol their capabilities is something I shall take up at a later date.)
Guy stamping envelopes with the P.O Seal at the Post Office: Seriously, one after the other, how can you keep doing that an entire day and for an entire week and then week after week!!!
The table cleaner in a restaurant: A dirty towel, his customary weapon along with a plastic or aluminum tray. Wipes in different styles, leftovers of different shape and sizes but that’s all his job description allows him to accomplish.
The doorkeeper at corporate offices: His job is to open the door every time someone comes or threatens to come his way. Since the door is a modern marvel he doesn’t have to push it back. The door automatically shuts in poetic motion and our man starts waiting for the next man to come his way.
The ticket checker at Multiplexes: This is an offspring of the increased spending of the modern Indian Consumer on watching movies in Multiplexes. With so many screens around no one ever knows which the right screen is .So we have an assistant in uniform whose job is to utter any of the following sentences over and over again."Go straight Sir, first screen on left”, “The Screen on your right Ma’m, once you reach the end of the alley” or “It’s the one on the left, besides the popcorn stall over there.”
The Driver: His skill in dealing with all the other vehicles on the road is matchless. But once he leaves his Saab in the morning at the office , he has to spend and entire day waiting for his boss to come out of the office. Worse still, Murphy’s Law tends to wreak havoc with him at times. His boss often comes out or summons for him at the only moment when he decides to go out for fag.
The HT ‘Let there be Light’ teaser campaign: This was in March in Delhi when I saw a chap on the bridge near the Sarai Kale Khan Bus standing blindfolded on a footpath holding a placard that read “ Let there be Light” . This was in the morning at around 9 a.m. on my way to the office.
On my way back at 5:30 p.m., I saw the guy rooted to the spot.
Thank God, you have got a great job and now get back to work! : )